Monday, April 10, 2006
messed up plans
Hollie and I woke up yesterday morning ready to go to church. I, not thinking, didn't look at the map to see where exaclty we were going. So anyway, I found the street on the map and we took off, by this time running a bit late. We drove and drove, finally finding the street but couldn't find the church. By this time it was almost 11:25 so we decided to forget it and instead go to night church. Well, we were so close to the beach so we drove on over there. It was beautiful! The weather was gorgeous and we walked along the waters edge for a couple of hours. Then we went back to town to the Art Centre and market to look around. What a great day we had yesterday. It was so awesome just to talk to Hollie, find out what she loves and thinks that make the blood run through her veins. I'm so excited about the next couple of weeks road-tripping with her, we're going to have some great times.
Gotta tell ya one more thing- On Saturday (2 days ago) we went to the Botanic Gardens. I put some pictures up on my website (http://community.webshots.com/user/KatieMoore). It was so beautiful! There are still a lot of flowers everywhere even though it's fall. It made it perfect with the flowers and the leaves falling all at once. The garden is huge, I don't think I've told you about it- it's got rock, water, flower, tree, and other types of gardens all in one place. Nonnie would love this place.
I love this town that I live in because there's so much to do here. It's very cultural and fun all at the same time. It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen- I hope that by some of my pictures you can glimpse what I see everyday. God is so good, amidst messed up plans, amidst turmoil and frusteration. I think our entire lives we are being taught to realize that God really is enough and we need no other affections or affirmations, that He alone is the provider, the sustainer, our best friend that will never hurt us. I'm learning that God is good not because of what He does but because of who He is. His faithfulness reaches to the skies. God is good, His love endures forever.
Gotta tell ya one more thing- On Saturday (2 days ago) we went to the Botanic Gardens. I put some pictures up on my website (http://community.webshots.com/user/KatieMoore). It was so beautiful! There are still a lot of flowers everywhere even though it's fall. It made it perfect with the flowers and the leaves falling all at once. The garden is huge, I don't think I've told you about it- it's got rock, water, flower, tree, and other types of gardens all in one place. Nonnie would love this place.
I love this town that I live in because there's so much to do here. It's very cultural and fun all at the same time. It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen- I hope that by some of my pictures you can glimpse what I see everyday. God is so good, amidst messed up plans, amidst turmoil and frusteration. I think our entire lives we are being taught to realize that God really is enough and we need no other affections or affirmations, that He alone is the provider, the sustainer, our best friend that will never hurt us. I'm learning that God is good not because of what He does but because of who He is. His faithfulness reaches to the skies. God is good, His love endures forever.
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KT -- I am missin' you... I've finally made myself sit down and read your blogs, AND made time to write you back... Ephesians 6... Romans 7... Uncanny that the Lord's Spirit has landed me in the middle of those passages. I've read Romans 7 as I never have before since October '05. I read Paul's words over and over and over again, and am crushed by the reality of his words, his anguish in my life... "for what I do is not the good that I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -- this I keep on doing... What a wretched man/woman I am!!..." I am a failure. No matter how hard I try to be good, moral, holy, righteous, I fail, I falter, I fall... I see my sin, and I realize I am a disgrace, a sham of a person. Then, I see Jesus and realize He has holes in His hands, His feet, His sides, and I am stricken by the horrible reality that each and every one of my sins -- both "small" and "big" -- arrested Him, betrayed Him, maimed Him, tortured Him, denied Him, executed Him. I also realize my sins gave Him the power to leave the tomb empty. I am a failure at this "Christian" game. For too long, I've bought the policies which promote behavior over belief, religion over humility. I am lost and can only be found when I am desperate. Ephesians 6 exposes how desperately serious the fight is -- it's against unseen forces which require me to wear tangible and visible pieces of armour which He has chosen for me to pick up and use. Ephesians 6 exposes my part in defending myself, knowing full well that I am outnumbered and outmanned by the enemy's armies. Ephesians 6 makes it clear that "the battle is not mine but God's.."(2 Chron. 20:15), but it's up to me to enter the battle fully clothed in His armour, ready to face "a vast army," and dependent upon His strength and ability to do a mighty miracle. I have to remember He is simply who He says He is: He is God, YAHWEH, Jehovah-Jirah, Master, King, Lord.. He cannot deny Himself, and my failures, my disobedience, my stupidity, my blatant sin cannot change His identity. He keeps His promises. He is my "shield and my exceedingly great reward" (Gen. 15), and He is my rear guard (Is. 52:12), which means He is my armour!!! Will I put Him on this day as I enter moments which will soon prove me to be a sinner who continuously does the "evil I don't want to do," and who's unable to "do the good I long to do"? There's the rub -- I excel at doing bad and resoundingly fail at doing good... I need mercy more than grace. I need mercy more than grace. Mercy for me looks like heinous wounds pounded into hands and feet which held Someone to a cross and carried Someone out of a tomb. I need Jesus to be Jesus -- right, righteous, powerful, merciful. I need the Spirit to be the Spirit -- mighty, intuitive, forceful, present, conquering. I need God to be God -- truthful, relentless, victorious, overpowering. I need God/Jesus/The Spirit to protect me, prevail over my enemies and my sin, defend me, protect me, teach me, lead me, hold me, and lift me... I need more of Them... so much more, because my sin is so great... I am lovin' you and missin' you -- 'della
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